Tourtasticism

So. Paris. We ended up having to rip ourselves out of bed to make it to the bus station so we could make our flight. The bus station was disgusting, full of flies and everything(one) smelled awful. We were exhausted and slept intermittently throughout the travel experience and finally wound up in Paris in the late morning. Except we weren't allowed to check in until 4. Four. Quattro. Cuatro. Quatre. Do you understand what I'm saying? Terrible check in time. ABC, Le Village, ABC.

So we decided to head out and about and grab some food and get acquainted with the culture. Little did we know, the culture was not particularly interested in getting acquainted with us. We grabbed a table at a bistro and attempted to people watch. Until we got stared down by the waiter for attempting to order in English. So we spent the next hour timidly sipping our beers and carrying on a conversation in Spanish with an 80 year old man named Javier. He invited us to tango.

Thus, in spite of the fact that we were hungry, we decided not to give our business to the establishment with the snooty waiter. We marched on and found another restaurant. This time, I used my remedial French skills to try and get something going on. This waiter found my French adorable and even gave me a few corrections. By the end of the meal, we had eaten a couple of the best sandwiches EVER and were getting free wine. Don't ever say Jessie and I crumble in the face of adversity.

The waiter also recommended a place for us to go out that night. It was called Le Queen. Now, I know what you're thinking. "That sounds like a gay club, Patty". Well you would be absolutely correct. Except it was ladies night. Free champagne sporadically throughout the evening? Why yes, Le Queen, don't mind if I do. There were also some very attractive male dancers. I might have danced with one. Okay both. And the hotter one told me to go to the club he was working at the following evening, Le Duplex. Jessie and I were getting a quasi-gay vibe from him, but he was cute and we were looking for somewhere to go anyway.

The day after Le Queen, we went to the Louvre to spend hours taking in some art and being generally inspired. And we were. Except, replace "Louvre" with "Starbucks in the entrance to the Louvre" and replace "art" with "coffee". Because that's what we did. All day. Yes, we might have attempted to enter the Louvre at 5:40, only to discover that you can't enter after 5:30. We might have had to leave the Louvre without seeing any actual art. Some of you might think that sounds like a wasted day. But you'd be wrong.

After leaving the Louvre, we went outside to grab sandwiches and coffee and sit in the grassy sculpture garden out front. We talked for a few more hours and watched adorable children chase one another and throw tantrums. Oh and we made friends with some birds. Only about 50 of them. NBD. Also, I feel I should mention that I love the sandwiches in France. You really can't go wrong. I kept ordering brie sandwiches. Yes, just slices of brie on a baguette. So. Freaking. Good. Jessie had a lot more variety about her sandwich orders. Which is as to be expected.

Then we went back to the hostel to get ready to go out to Le Duplex. While we were getting ready, Jessie gave me my birthday present at exactly midnight. Because it was my birthday. But I'm sure you already knew that. Except you Mom. Since you still have yet to wish me a happy birthday. It's been two days and still nothing. Nice.

We went to the club and waited in line for a bit. They weren't really interested in letting me cut on my birthday. Well fine. But they got a bit more excited about it after we had waited in line for a few minutes. I didn't really mind it, we met some coolish frenchies. People were actually turned away from the club for not being attractive enough. Weird France, weird.

We danced all night long and ended up seeing the cute dancer guy. Yeah he was gay. But it was good because we were unamused with everyone else in the club, which allowed us to keep dancing together and feeling ourselves, until the metro was about to open up again. We were on our way to the metro when this random taxi driver named Sam told us he'd take us home for free because he was done working for the day. Sweet. Free birthday taxi. Then we got back to the hostel and the front desk guy let us eat breakfast two hours before it was officially open. Sweet, early birthday breakfast.

Then we slept for a bit and when we woke up we decided to try Louvre round deux. We metro-ed over and actually made it in this time. We wandered around for a few hours and then Jessie wanted to see some African art. So we went over to Porte des Lions (another area of the museum), only to find that it was closed. But there were these two reeeeally inviting-looking benches in this lovely little niche overlooking the Louvre courtyard. So we napped on them. Duh.

After the nap we went over to the restaurant from the first day with the nice waiter because I loved those sandwiches. And I wanted another one. And it was my birthday so I could do whatever I wanted. After dinner, we intended to go to Moulin Rouge and purchased some wine so that we could mentally prepare ourselves for the adventures in store. Well, we ended up just staying on the terrace drinking until 3:30 in the morning. But honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better birthday. Easily my best birthday ever. Except for maybe the day I was born. Even that.

The next day we woke up and trained over to Eurodisney. We had SO MUCH FUN running around and acting like little kids. Yeah, we bought Minnie Mouse ears. Be jealous. Also, their version of Space Mountain is cooler than ours. We had dinner at the Blue Lagoon restaurant overlooking Pirates of the Caribbean. The food and the wine were soooo good. It was the perfect fancy birthday dinner. Plus, before we got dinner, we went on Pirates and Jessie roared at everyone. You'd have to experience the roar to appreciate what that means. It was super awkward. I.e. hilarious. I felt like the experience of laughing at how pissed off everyone was, was a birthday present in and of itself.

After Eurodisney, we went home and stopped at the Eiffel Tower. It was extremely touristic. I ate a kebab and spilled it all over myself, necessitating actually washing my clothes when I got back to the hostel. Did that, we got ready to go out and we headed toward Minx, which was a club our front desk guy recommended. Club recommendation FAIL. The club was closed. Forever. So we taxi-ed over to Le Queen, went in, danced for a bit and then left. On the way home, we met this weirdo named Ben who kept trying to give Jessie free Sephora. Ew.

Then we flew to Dublin and we are currently in our hostel, freshly showered and getting blogging out of the way so we can go to a pub. Brrr and cydrrrr, here we come!